Am I Lonely?

Recently I was told that I seemed lonely.  "Me?",  I thought.  "I don't think of myself that way. Am I afraid to admit it?  Hmmm.  I'll have to give this some thought".

I didn't live alone until late into adulthood.  Childhood, schools, marriages, children.  That took up a big chunk. And yes, when it came it was a jolt.  Now, I can't imagine having anyone around all the time.  What about my quiet, my routines, my noises, my preferences?  Could I, would I, rearrange any of it to make space?

But what about love? Companionship?  When his wife died, one man I know immediately attached himself to the widow of his best friend.  So far, so good.  Another friend has been able to insist on part time togetherness.  An understood arrangement. Equally appealing to both.

"There are a lot of witty women on the internet," says another male searcher.  My favorite line:  "I still wear the same size necklace as I did in high school."

Alone is one thing.  Loneliness another.  I'll pause at that.