Alone or Not

The legal strategy now allowed in sexual predator cases that nailed Bill Cosby and maybe Harvey Weinstein is permitting the testimony of many women in order to establish a "pattern of conduct." Previously, each woman had to stand alone.

I wonder what will happen if these cases reach the Supreme Court.  Just this week, there was a 5 to 4 decision (hello, Neil Gorsuch) depriving employees of the right to band together to fight the bosses' companywide policies.  And, if I understand it right, each employee -- if they want to get hired --
could be forced to agree to arbitration thus blocking them from the courts and the jury system.

So, again if I understand it right, a woman has a better chance of fighting sexual harassment than a woman or a man standing up to employer harassment.

The guys keep their priorities intact, don't they?

All or Nothing

Sports fans like me are noticing a chorus of complaints from the talking heads.  In baseball, they are lamenting the dominance of either a home run or a strikeout.  "We are losing the great shortstop play, or the exciting throw from third or deep in center," goes the dirge.

In basketball, they point to the three-pointer.  "Not enough action under the basket.  Too many points piled up too fast."  Some have suggested widening the court to make those shots from the corner even more difficult.  Of course, they would have to move back some of the millionaire seats, so it probably will never pass the ownership test.

All this reminds me of what is happening in Washington.  Devil or savior.  Crook or white hat.  The games and the political game have this in common:  lack of contact...lack of engagement.  Too much air between home plate and the stands.  Too much air from mid-court into the basket. Too much hot air on cable.

And I haven't mentioned the arrival of legalized sports gambling.  Everyone is predicting a flood of cash.  Sounds like politics to me.

Why We Shake Hands

After the Sixers' playoff run came to an end when they lost to the Celtics, Joel Embiid walked off the court without shaking hands with the winning team.  Bad sport.  I immediately remembered when Isiah Thomas and the Pistons turned their backs. The Bulls had finally defeated them after so many tries.  He and his team were criticized for being such bad sports.  I never liked Isiah again.

So, I was disturbed when one of my favorite sportscasters, Jemille Hill, defended Imbiid and the ESPN colleagues she was discussing it with seemed to agree. "He was showing his passion for winning.  Showing that he was serious."

Yes, of course we root for our favorites.  But we understand that both sides are serious.  Both sides are passionate.  We shake hands to acknowledge the beauty of engagement.  The winning is sweet because this time it's your turn.  Next time maybe not.

Pointless Points

My bridge playing friends know what the expression "Points Schmoints" means:  there is more than one way to evaluate a hand.  I was thinking about this as my friend David lamented that a computer breakdown had prevented him from getting the "points" he needs for a free donut.

Then I went home, opened my email, and found out that because one vendor considers me a "VIP Customer",  I am entitled to "points(!)" which I can use at times and for purchases that are too complicated to describe.

Walgreens is a little more straightforward.  Seniors get 20% off on the first Tuesday of the month.  Of course, you have to remember the date. But, like bridge, they say memory games are good for your brain.

Target gives 5% discount on everything as long as you use their "Red Card."  I'm sure there is profit in there somewhere.

Facebook probably wishes they were giving "points" for your VIP identity.

Another Way

My friend Marilyn recently posted a moving depiction of grief.  It showed how grief's intensity may fade over time, only to be punctured by moments of vivid memory.  We never escape but learn to endure.

The Japanese have added another approach to life's promise of despair.  In this country and culture, you can hire an actor to assume the role of a departed family member.  One man hired a woman to take the place of his wife.  It wasn't a sexual arrangement.  He just wanted his "wife" to be waiting for him when he came home from work.

A distraught mother hired a man to "be" the husband who had deserted the family leaving the daughter behind.  The miserable young girl blossomed after her "father" returned occasionally to care for her.

Japanese weddings are often populated by guests who are hired "members of the family."  The same goes for boyfriends and girlfriends when the need arrises.

Too cold and pragmatic for you?  Too unsatisfying?  Or maybe creative enough to merit another thought.

Natalie Marched

I am so proud of my granddaughter Natalie and her dad who joined the 800,000 at the March for our Lives last weekend.  Here, Natalie talks about her experience.

Q:  Natalie, you participated in what I think and hope was an historic event in American history.  What made you decide you wanted to actually be there with the other students?

  A: I wanted to be part of the March for Our Lives because I really agree that it’s time for a change in our policy, and I know we need as many people as possible to come together to make this change happen. 

Q:  What was it like being part of the crowd?  Could you see and hear?

A:  On the main street the crowd was very tightly packed in the center, and more scattered on the sidewalks. Being in the middle of the crowd was very intense, with barely any room to move.  Since I was taking photos it wasn’t the ideal place to be. There were large screens that were  broadcasting everything going on on the main stage, and being in between two screens caused the audio to become distorted and sound like a continuous echo. Unfortunately my dad and I were in a spot where the voices of the speakers sounded that way for a while, but eventually we moved. As for being able to see, it was surprisingly easy for me considering I’m a little more than five feet tall!

Q:  What were the people around you doing?

A:  Most people were listening intently to the speakers or chanting “ VOTE THEM OUT!”.

Q:  What speaker or speakers grabbed your attention?  Left  the most lasting impression?  Thrilled you the most?

I loved Yolanda Renee King, the granddaughter of Martin Luther King Jr. She is such a mighty little girl, and watching her speak was so powerful. Of course everyone rejoiced when Emma Gonzales came out on stage, including me! Her speech was brilliant and unforgettable, and experiencing the minutes of silence in-person was amazing. Every speaker there had a key role to play in spreading the message that gun violence is a serious problem that must be changed, so really I liked all of them.  

Q:  What about your school in upstate New York?  

A:  My school had a 17 minute long walkout, where about one hundred kids participated. In order to show your support, we were told to wear orange. It was interesting to see which teachers strategically chose to wear an orange scarf or tie. Many teachers in my school supported it, but as a policy they were not allowed to discuss it with the students. After the walkout was over and we all returned to our classes, one of my teachers addressed the class and said “To all of you guys who walked out... I’m proud of you, and to all those who didn’t walk out.. I’m proud of you as well.” Overall it was a very inclusive and safe environment to express your thoughts on current events. 

Q:  Most of the people who read my blog are oldsters. And many marched against wars in the past.  They are hurting now and want some hope.  What can you say to us?

A:  Don’t lose hope! Use your vote to change these policies! Change does not happen in a single day, it happens step by step. Only you can help this country take this journey to a safer future. 

Pictures from Natalie's phone.

Henrietta and Mark

Remember the story of Henrietta Lacks?  She was the african american woman whose cells became an important tool in developing modern medicine.  She was never informed about her cells' use and certainly never shared in their enormous worth.  When her story was unearthed it became a celebrated book and movie.  Maybe a myth for our times.

Mark Zuckerberg is another person whose life has a tinge of myth attached.  Facebook tapped deep into the human spirit where the need to be connected was ready to be explored.  If we bothered to figure out how Facebook made billions by selling our profiles, we didn't seem to mind.

My friend David and I were talking about TV shows. . . and the zombies that frequently appear.  "What is a zombie?"  I asked.  He said it was an undead creature who needs to eat our brains to survive.

That sounded like another modern myth to me.